The first time I EVER drove on the highway I remember this conversation my dad, "I feel like I'm constantly having to turn slightly left and then slightly back right. Like, I never just hold the wheel and go straight. Is that normal?" He responded, "Yes, you're going to have to constantly make little adjustments every single time you're on the road."
It was a simple conversation that had little impact on me at the time, but as an adult mother of three and military spouse, it reminds me everyday that its absolutely necessary to make constant adjustments.
Mila doesn't want to be rocked to sleep even though that's the only way she has gone to sleep for the last week straight? Make an adjustment.
The chore/allowance chart I meticulously made and spent 30 minutes trying to explain to the kids has now become Mila's favorite coloring book and the kids still throw fits over their chores? Adjust.
Hubby is getting called into work on a day we had plans? Adjust.
Lily isn't learning in school? Turn a little left.
Vinny is starting to act out because he isn't getting any attention? Turn a little right.
Adjust. Adjust. Adjust.
During my daughter's first year homeschooling, I would have full blown anxiety attacks if I didn't have her homework for the next day laid out, planned, and each little material we would need prepared. I wanted homeschooling to be 100% smooth sailing, going down a straight and narrow road. It didn't take me long to realize it wasn't going to be that easy. If one morning before school there was a piece of string missing from the supplies list, I would quit. We would turn on the screen and I would sulk. The road started to curve, and I refused to turn with it, so I crashed.
Eventually, I decided that homeschooling was just too much for me, and I decided to quit and put her in public school. During her time in public school, she made lots of friends, but she was treated poorly by her teachers, she wasn't learning anything, and there was very little merit to her being there any longer. We ultimately decided to bring her back home, only this time I was going to relax, go with the flow, and teach according to her needs, her interests, and whatever the day throws at us.
I ADJUSTED.
Every day I have to make tiny tweaks to life and how it runs. I have to make adjustments to my workouts. To my diet. I have to constantly reevaluate how to handle situations with my kids and how I show my husband love. I try to make plans. I buy expensive planners to try and keep life going perfectly straight for a while, but if there is anything I have learned since becoming a mother and a military wife, it's that if I keep holding the wheel straight even after the road has turned, I'm going to crash.
Moms, don't beat yourselves up when that chore chart you slaved over ends up being a drawing board after a week, or when the PERFECT exercise plan you made ends up being ruined when you have surprise errands to run. We make plans for a month and feel defeated when they last only a week, then we have to make HUGE changes to our plans, and we crash.
Everyday is going to be a new chance to relearn everything you thought you knew the day before. New twists and turns will come up in the road. Why do we try to hold the wheel straight when the road is starting to curve? Adjust and go with the flow, mama.
"Change is the only constant in life."